Dr. Shannon Klingman is an obstetrician/gynecologist from Minnesota who is shifting the narrative on how and why people smell. As the founder and inventor of Lume, an all-natural and aluminum free deodorant, Dr. Klingman discovered an outstanding odor control product, that solves odor concerns below the belt and is also an extremely effective underarm deodorant.

Transcript:

 The one tough mother podcast, the one tough mother show is real talk with special guests including industry leaders, celebrities and amazing women who’ve overcome adversities to work their way to the top and are willing to share their real life lessons. Remember, you don’t have to be a mother to be one tough mother. It’s all about you and we’re here how you’re welcome to the window and so excited that you’re here with us again this week and it’s been a really crazy week. I got a lot of stuff going on is always says. How was your Easter? Say

Good. Uh, I told you last time that my 10 year old’s playing cello with a church. That’s cool. Yeah. And so we thought he was going to practice on Sunday morning. It was actually, he had to play at church who didn’t know me that well. We didn’t know either through church and use that he was up there and he playing with the bands, but good thing he practiced and a have video of. It’s really cool. That is really, really cool. And he sent them to the orchestra and played. It was really nice that they asked him not to come to practice, like kid just step in every Sunday. No, because they only do the orchestra like a couple of times a year. So just having to be Easter and Christmas. So the cellist disappeared. So he stepped in. Yeah, it was great. It’s a great experience for him and he’s gonna have a spring concert coming up.

So it’s cool. It’s really cool. And also we did a little, a little Easter egg hunt around the house. I uh, outside the house. I hid the eggs and they were really, uh, my daughter was sleeping so she missed out and she forgot about it, which was good. But a video. My son, he founded a tough one in the gutter, the because I made the mistake, I bought a, I bought these eggs at Papa troll eggs. I was like, OK, that candy worst candy ever is disgusting. And I was like, you could eat one and then I’m throwing it out. The rest it’s like, where’s the chocolate? I think, Oh God, I totally blew it. But they had fun and uh, yeah, we had a big Easter egg hunt. We usually do. We have, um, I think we put out, I’m just counting in my mind with you, with out over 80 eggs.

So my oldest grandson’s now that they’re like 10 and [inaudible] actually. Where’s the money? Exactly. So it’s dollar bills and then the big, big prize ag that my son is, I make sure my three sons hide like really hard is a $5. And then my, uh, little grandchildren, I did pennies, dimes and nickels because they like putting them in their banks. But it’s so funny because the Wednesday, like the oldest grandkid’s get 2020 eggs. Then the rest I’ll go to the little kids and you can pick up the eggs without money. The difference or they pick them up, they’re like, ah, next to. Yeah, it was fun that we had a great, great time. It was actually sunny, which is a totally complete shock because we haven’t had any sunny weather. So that’s true. Yeah. I was really super excited about it. And you know, was fun. Mail manage. Your mom had her usual good time cooked up a storm, so it was a fun time with the family. He remind me of my son to call Pinky bank key bank. Oh, that’s cute. Rollerskating to yesterday boys.

Yeah, dude, I would’ve gone with you. I have my own skate skiing behind my four year old and I was like picking up on that, like not letting him falling and realized, oh he has to fall. You can’t learn how to roller skate. He used to fall, so just let them start falling. He actually likes following. He’s like, oh cool. I got himself back up and he got some balance going so it was good to start skate a little bit. I mostly use a roller skater, rollerblader I rollerblade roller skating and my sister and I were huge ice skaters. So when it comes to ice skating, I’ll go with you. You just reminded. My daughter’s name is Talia, Talia. So I can only think about that movie. I Tanya, just trusting it. So just on anybody in the leg with a she is a wild thing.

We’ll be doing that as well. Oh Wow. So, um, everything was good. I, I, we have a great guest and this woman like, she is so awesome. She flew all the way in from Minnesota, not just for us, I’m sure, but still it’s a big sky country. I’m pretty impressed. She came in from another place to see us. That’s pretty cool that everybody were cool. Anyway. Um, and today’s guest is an incredible woman and she is an incredible story. Dr Shannon is an obstetrician gynecologist for Minnesota who is shifting the narrative on how and why people stink. Yes ma’am. Or Yes sir. As the founder and inventor, gloomy in all natural aluminum free deodorant, Dr Klingman discovered now standing odor control product that solves, solves odor control. I mean cut this in, that solves odor concerns below the waist and also an extremely effective on or underarm deodorant.

It’s with excitement and pleasure and we’re so happy to welcome and we hope you love New York. Dr Shannon. Glen. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much. Because are so warm here. Real. I’m hearted as just US north part of New York City on your persona. So yeah, we’re not really kicking out of here. So what do you think in New York so far we’re really enjoying it. The people who have been very nice and the is good and the bengals are even better than Minnesota. It’s the water. Yeah. Due dates where they always say it’s the water in New York. Did you have pizza? And after? Not yet. Not yet, but that’s on the list. Maybe tonight we’ll have pizza. Pizza. Pizza is a need here and in fact my mom’s always like, bring up pizza from the steady. But by the time you get a home, it tastes like we got it out of box. Yeah. Doesn’t matter. So let’s talk about you and what you do. So your ob Gyn doctor, which is obstetrician gynecologists and you’re married, you know the way in Dr, which is an obstetrician gynecologist, and so you really do know what it’s like. What made you start this journey? What made this, this whole deodorant smell?

Products? How’d you get started on it? Will you know how something gets in your mind and it starts to. It bothers you and it won’t leave you alone. So Lou said, yeah, I’m sorry out. So I got into. Yeah, I was in my residency training and I recognize that, you know, women are coming in with complaints of older no matter what the reason was for the visit, whether it was just their annual pap smear or sometimes an ob visit or a bladder infection, but they would often bring up, you know, sometimes I notice like I’m a little funky from time to time, a little older, maybe I have an infection, I don’t know. I’m having a new partner and you test them and you know, the, it’s a really imperfect way to. I’m trying to get at what’s going on when the testing that we do is so, so, uh, absolutely imperfect.

And it bothered me and I would say Chinese ever feel like we’re just randomly treating every woman with odor, with antibiotics and just it goes away. But none of the lab tests really confirm it. And so I carried on with my training, you know, go see 10 more patients. You’ve got another patient waiting and so you just continue to see patients in that frustration started to build and you start to accept it like, I guess this is just the way it is because in my training nobody questioned it and then I got into private practice and I thought OK enough, I’m noticing that time after time women have said they’ve been treated for conditions like bacterial vaginosis in the past. And yet they’re saying it comes up like, I mean every six weeks I’m noticing it again or around my period or when I work out or I have a new sexual partner, I noticed this odor and it comes up from time to time and my doctor gives me antibiotics but it always seems to come back.

So fast forward now my husband and I are trying to have a baby and we’re having frequent intercourse and I mean frequent because you know, yes, we know how to get it done. So I was post call up all night, hadn’t showered, sat down to go to the bathroom and I noticed that odor that women complain of and I thought, do I have bacterial vaginosis? I think I have this. So I [inaudible] that odor was so familiar and then I did some checking around and I realized that this owner was all external. The Vagina was fine. I had it was not a vaginal odor who was all external and then I came home and said to my husband, you know, I think the reason being is such a pain in the butt diagnosis for women that they just can’t seem to shake it once they’re given that diagnosis is because this odor happens very commonly with day to day activities.

We engage in intercourse or working out or with our periods are not showering and this is an external odor. What would it take to prove that? And it’s like nobody’s ever talked like that before. So we hired a lab to help us out and we discovered that those odors that women experience in day to day life are indistinguishable from the odors that women get when they have an actual vaginal infection. So it’s no wonder doctors over diagnosing this condition. So then I thought, OK, so if it’s an external process, nobody’s talking like this. I would talk to my partners about it, other gins. And they would say like, well yeah, but that’s not what it is though because it’s that kind of fishy odor that smells like Bev. Ah, and so what I decided was where there’s an external solution for this if there’s, you know, an external problem. So I created one and went through all the process of testing and developing all that and then determine that lumee blocks that odor reaction 100 percent for these types of odors that happened basically between are butt cheeks, if I can be so frank.

Right? So, wait a minute, how do you create that? I mean, how do you start that process?

So with a lot of self discovery, I think it all started with being raised by a woman who was an rn. We talked about anything. I was very comfortable with my body checking it out. Then I’m a gynecology resident, you know, so I’m, I’m living it every day and I’m also a woman. Very comfortable. So it was a lot. It was just some self discovery and some checking around and really getting to know where are these odors coming from. You don’t even want it.

Look at her ticket. Don’t say stop right there. So. OK. So how did you know what was going to block it?

So I ha. So what I looked at was the type of odor molecule that’s formed. It’s a long word called trimethyl amine, tma, and there’s other conditions where trimethylamine is formed and one of them is in individuals with metabolic conditions where they can’t metabolize certain proteins. And those proteins reached the large bowel, anaerobic bacteria in our larger ball. You know the, the stinky part of our guts, a digest those proteins. They release this molecule called trimethylamine. So I looked at the chemistry of how the bacteria actually interact with these proteins that are found in semen blood, the nitrogen containing things in urine, sweat and how bacteria digests that and what’s necessary. And I created a hostile environment for it with my product. So the bacteria are there and the bodily fluids are still there, but they don’t dance together and odor doesn’t form. Oh, that’s awesome.

So looking at it that way, different, but how did you know what chemical to use? So it went to my kitchen and I started just working around looking around with some things in the kitchen. And uh, the first rough draft of Louis, I’m basically burned my skin, but it solved the owner that I worked with formularies and we just, we take that reaction between bacteria and bodily fluids. We knew that it needed to block that reaction. It also needed to be safe for the skin. And so I consulted with a friend of mine about it and he said, you know, you need to write a patent and you need to get in touch with some people who can you formulate this? And so that’s what I did. And without giving away any trade secrets or yeah, a loomey is very innovative and we think about odor in a whole different way.

We’re not thinking about endoserter, you know, like products will, they’ll solve body odor, underarm odor in there. They’re masking it or covering it up with fragrance or they’ll neutralize odor after it happens. People will focus on foot odor, that odor molecules different from what forums and our underarms odor molecules that form in different parts of our body are different. But by taking that reaction back to the bacterial level and inhibiting how they lunch or metabolize these, these fluids that lead to odor, we were able to solve odor anywhere on your body. So that’s a, it’s so shannon, this is all natural, right? You got this from your kitchen. I got it from my kitchen and you know, there’s things in it that uh, when we started off, I didn’t need to have aluminum in it. It never even occurred to me to put aluminum in it because I was solving odor below the belt.

And so when we had it clinically tested and we discovered that it was also a superior odor control products for underarms, we thought, OK, so what do we need to do to make it an appealing formula? I don’t want it to stain my clothes. Right. It’s gotTa wash out, right? I don’t want heavily scented fragrant oil cover ups don’t want, you know. So there were some things, some pain points and some things that I wanted to have for myself because I, I’m a stinker and I’m a major sweater and I. So I needed to have a formula that was appealing to me in that way. And it just ended up, we started off like should we do an under armour product and a feminine hygiene product and a foot product. But then it ended up it was the same formula. So there’s no reason to split it out that, that is incredible.

And actually she sent it to me, Sat, and I’ve been using it for two weeks. Just say, you know, you’re welcome. It’s incredible. It really is. Thank you. Know, at first I thought, I don’t know. Then by like day three, I was a coal leak. How this is working out now, the one thing is people say, we’ll use [inaudible]. I’ve been telling everybody do sweat. Yeah, you’re going to sweat, but it’s not, you’re not going to smell like sweat at all. So it really does work. So there’s a component in all these natural ingredients that is actually blocking theater or it’s actually just dispersing the sooner that you don’t even have the odor to block. So the odor number forms. Yeah. So the older, there’s something that uh, people have been trying to solve this and I think that the reason we have been so successful is because more women are getting into leadership positions and they’re looking at things through a different Lens.

We will, I think, find in all industries that are problem solving abilities will improve. I think it’s, it’s incredible. It really is because as women are, you know, we go to the gynecologist who else has their feet in stirrups with their knees apart in their bottom right in the face of a director three feet away. And so you’re thinking if men had to go through that, I think this problem would have been solved back in 1850, you know? Right. And you know who would know better than you guys? The doctor. Recipe guy knows. Like that’s what I thought when I saw. I hate to say it, but that’s the truth. But you know what? Now that you’re saying that since 1850, you told me that nothing has changed in the, in the deodorized smell since 18, 15, it started. The whole feminine hygiene industry really started in the late 18 hundreds with a product called Lysol.

Believe it. Yeah, it is true. That’s probably some guy’s idea. That is true. Well, not even on up inside Dushane, they were using Lysol for reducing and women died and were poisoned by it. They marketed these like torture machines that you kept in your next to your bathroom, like a toilet bowl cleaner. And it was a Douche pump, like a butter churn, increase the pressure and something. So w w and there, it wasn’t a, it wasn’t a good scene. And then when women started having problems with it, they decided that they should be recommending you dilute it out, so I’m going to camp. But the ads they took out were like, you know, Debbie was a wonderful housemaker and mother and she was a wonderful cook, but she neglected her vaginal hygiene and so now her husband must leave. So he’s like walking out the door with a briefcase. So I wrote that.

So it started that way. And then the products that have since followed still continue with that same narrative of vaginal odor, vaginal concerns or feminine, a odor, and they’ve made it portable. They’ve made it a something that is maybe a lot less toxic, but, but still wrong nonetheless because a great study came out in 2007, I think you’ll find interesting where there was a group of women that had vaginal complaints and they were blindly given off to doctors where doctors didn’t get to see them. But it was a complaint of odor or itching and a sample of their vaginal discharge was given. And the doctor’s evaluated it. Doctors, overdiagnosed, bacterial vaginosis, 61 percent of the time and they overdiagnosed yeast infections in the vagina 73 percent of the time. Holy Cow. So we know that doctors are over diagnosing and we know that they are wrong more than their right and so this was just was fell right in line with my suspicion of is this an external process and then if it is, which we proved that it is, can I develop something to solve that which we did and then through clinical testing, discovering you can use it anywhere on your body, makes it appealing for men and women, but the thing that I love is that it’s changing the narrative on Feminine Hygiene for women.

Absolutely. That’s bizarre. And you know what? I went on your site and you have to really, really powerful testimonial letters on there. There was one that I thought was pretty interesting and she was like, I’ve. I’ve had this problem since I was 14. I actually went to commit suicide because I was bullied so much. Having this problem and that your product work that has to make you feel amazing. It makes me feel like there’s a reason that I went to medical school and I enjoyed private practice a lot, but I think I’m 48 years old and think man, I’m old. You know, when you compare yourself to these young kids and they’re in their mid twenties while I still feel like them and I can talk to them and stuff. I think there’s no way at 25 I would have ever had the life experience, the wisdom, the confidence to be able to do what I’m doing now.

And so when I hear from these women, I think they’re talking to me right there. They’re talking about me. I see myself in them. I struggled myself with body odor and finding products that worked and I felt like I went between really strong bio two other products that I would use where you get like that, you know, floral or baby powder, ocean breeze mixed with bio in your clothing and had the stains in my underarms and you know, it was it. So I can, I can identify with them. And so when I hear from them, it makes me feel like I’m doing a good work in, you know what’s funny too, because when my using it, I noticed you don’t smell it after an hour or two. Right now we are fragrance oil free so there’s nothing permanent are the essential oils that we use our lavender and clary sage and it fades within and hour.

Yeah. And it’s pretty much goes to nothing. Which I liked because I’d rather have like my body lotion or something else has sent in like some heavy or under I’m thinking. Yeah. The other thing is a lot of my friends have breast cancer. I mean I’m going to say almost every one of my friends either is getting over had it or you know, in the process of treatment and they all questions the aluminum in deodorant for blocking, you know, any kind of um, underarm, you know, stop blocking sweat your lymph nodes are there. Is that. It does, do you think that makes sense? I think that there probably is an element to that. Even though the studies have shown that there is no causal link, I think it’s like many things, there has to be a genetic predisposition and we don’t know what does aluminum do on the gene level for people who may already have a predisposition and so my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was [inaudible] and you get really straight right away with what you’re putting on the large, the largest organ of your body, which is your skin.

And while that’s not the reason I developed it a, I didn’t avoid aluminum because of breast cancer. I just developed this product and it just happened to be aluminum free, which is what people are looking for. Right. But as an ob Gyn, I do think that it is not a good idea to put a heavy metal on your skin every day. Right. So if you see. I was sweating past the aluminum anyway. I still had big Bologna. Yeah. Cause I work out all the time. So when you work out and you do a lot of stuff, your body automatically when you start walking or doing anything starts metabolizing and people are like, well is it, am I going to sweat when they were. Yeah. But guess what, my friend, your body’s made to sweat for a reason and I don’t understand why people don’t get that.

It’s like, you know, you breathe in and out. OK, the bad stuff’s coming out. So I’m like, you need to sweat, your body needs to sweat and they don’t like that. Once you get comfortable with that, where the perspiration is there, like you sweat happens. But odor doesn’t have to is what I, what I tell myself is that I would have, I stunk no matter what. And when I was the medical expert in Minneapolis for one of the TV stations there, I would get off the air and I literally would have like an eight inch ring under my pit. And I’d be like, this is, I’m using a clinical strength antiperspirant here and nothing’s gotten this, you know. So I thought I’m wrecking my clothes with the aluminum. And so this is a good thing. So when I started using the feminine hygiene product that I developed on my underarms before we had had it tested, I’m saying, is this possible that this water based cream that’s basically a lotion is eliminating odor for me?

And it was, but my clothes didn’t stink and my, I didn’t have those yellow marks and it was, it was good. So for me it’s a when I like the total body odor control aspect of it and I love that it’s a lotion and it’s virtually undetectable after you rub it into your skin. And I think it’s awesome. And the fact that you invented it as, for, for below the belt basically. No. And then you went to the underarms. Then I’d read the story or I saw this story about Marin and you let me tell you something. Nothing really makes me cry. Tough as nails done it, but shit upset. But I’m Marin’s mother. Like at the end, I was really choked up because I would be devastated if my kid was getting bullied or felt left out or explain to that audience every little bit about Marin story.

So we launched in October of 2017, so we’ve just been on the market a little over six months and I got a phone call about three weeks into our launch time from a mother actually was a facebook message that I initially got, saying that you are really onto something here, um, that she’s not writing me this on behalf of herself, although she did try it and she loved it and she knows that it worked for her. Uh, she has a five year old little girl named Marin who has a very rare metabolic condition called proprionic acid acidemia. And the condition is so rare that she gets involved in these case studies with the National Institutes of health and she oftentimes is having to volunteer her daughter up for clinical studies and, um, for trying new testing and looking for a cure. And there’s a lot of metabolic conditions similar to marathons.

But in Marilyn’s case, it was so rare, there was like one of, she was one of two people in the country that had it and so, but the, the side effect, these individuals have a, have a medication that they have to take to prolong their life called L-carnitine is that they smell like rotten fish. And Marin was diagnosed when she was just two weeks old. They picked it up on a newborn screen. So the life expectancy for her had it not been picked up would’ve been five to six, but because it was detected with a newborn screen, the ability to intervene early on, um, got treatment on board really quickly. And so they started the l-carnitine. And from that moment she started to smell like fish. And she’s like, her mom, honey said, you know, you can imagine you bring your new baby over to meet family or friends here at target.

And it’s like, oh your baby. And then they kind of, Oh, here you go. And they give her back or they don’t want to hold her. And then growing up it meant the healthier she was, the more carnitine she needed. And so the more more odor that they noticed and she was concerned for her future, but she was just so grateful that she was healthy and when she put her into school in kindergarten, the kids were all nice and the teacher was nice and they were excited to have her in Marin, was really glad to be in school and honey was over the moon to have her in school because she was now five years old and she was approaching that age where a lot of families lose their children, but Marin’s future looks really bright. And she had a teacher that then commented to her that while they loved Marilyn and she was just recently, you know, confirmed to be pregnant and she struggled with the odor and didn’t know if she was going to be able to have her in her classroom anymore. And to watch that and to have children say, can you go sit over here? Can you not sit by me? Uh, was really difficult for her. And they tried Leumi after seeing us, uh, on an ad somebody had posted that their daughter had a rare metabolic condition and they discovered lumion it worked. And I did, I knew nothing about this, but Marin sought tried it or honey saw it and tried it on her daughter Marin. And she said, and she’s been odor free with one application for three days.

That’s amazing.

Right? Marin is my, uh, my testimony to being worth it because what was so remarkable to me was that it was the science that causes the odor from Erin that I used to develop Leumi that fishy owner, that trimethylamine, which doesn’t have anything to do with under our motor, you know, this is a different odor pro reaction. And so the fact that she was able to use it, uh, made me feel like, you know, wow, this was, this was bigger than me. This little seed that got planted, you know, 20 years ago that now is here. Wow. She’s, she rocks, right? Yeah. We don’t have that big. A brain

infections are misdiagnosed like 73 percent of the time. How is that laziness or is it, is getting a false false positive? I mean, I’m just curious.

I think that sometimes the assumption is that itches is yeast and everything that smells is bb or bacterial vaginosis and then there’s these criteria that we use, but if a woman comes in complaining of Itch and discharge, she’s going to be diagnosed with yeast vaginitis more times than not whether she has it or not. And I think that it requires doctors to put a little bit of discharge on a microscope, maybe send off some tests, think beyond what’s common, uh, and it’s easiest to go with what’s easiest. And that’s the story with bacterial vaginosis, we use criteria to diagnose that and there’s five different criteria and there’s a lot of things that will give it a false positive. Like a high ph can happen in post or peri-menopausal women, high vaginal discharge Ph can happen with periods. It happens after intercourse. And so you already have exposure and reasons why doctors would get this wrong. And then when they smell that characteristic, slight fishy odor, they think, oh, it’s Bev. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. I mean, you know, they’re busy. There’s. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. Or Gay. Here’s my next question. So now her husband and her are both doctors, so this is the walk and Park for you guys, right? I mean this, this costs you nothing. You walked in your kitchen, your whip this crap up. Everything’s good.

You’re right. It’s not. I, I use it actually. It’s good stuff. You’re whipping up and everything’s good. Right? Was nothing. Right. I think if it was easy, everybody would do it. I think it would’ve been around bag instead of Lysol. They would’ve had something like Louis back then. Right. So it sells July and your family? Yeah. My husband and I really have, I mean I’m almost, I feel hesitant to say it out loud, but we’ve risked everything on this. It’s not inexpensive to file for patents. We have two patents that have been granted and utility patents and we have a third one pending and we have other products in the pipeline and different applications that we’re working on. Patenting for a and then just formulating it all the trial and error, the people you trust that take advantage of you absolutely sucker punch you absolutely in the throat right in the throat and you have a decision to make, am I do I give up now or do I keep going and I and every time we stand up and we keep going because we believe in it.

Right? It’s amazing how much you do put into something. People think that, oh, you being doctors where they have a disposable income, they can just throw so much money behind it, but they don’t understand pattons. Not only is it patent very, very expensive, but then you have to fight a lot of times for your patent, so they knew his attorney fees involved. Like I’ve been through this whole process because of my previous jobs, so I know how much it can cost to get a patent. Thankfully I surrounded myself with really great people and I was able to find a patent writer that used to work for Kimberly Clark. He, he worked for Kimberly-clark for 25 years I believe, and that’s what I did. I looked and I saw who’s writing all the patents on feminine hygiene. Who’s this? Jeff Lindsay Guy. I want him. And so we contacted him and got in touch with him and we’re still friends and partners and he’s still doing the writing for us now.

But you know what, I’m Shannon in the meantime, this has been 11 years, right? Eleven years since we really started, you know, we’re talking idea back in residency, but 11 years ago we took our first step off the curb. Right. But you still had life going on, right? Tell us a little bit about like what was happening you had, you were having kids and married and, and jobs. Tell us about your life. So, uh, my husband and I had the idea for Louie, you know, I actually, I had it. I take all the credit years ago because I’m the one with the vagina itself. So then when we took a step off the curb, uh, 11 years ago, it really was trusting somebody to help guide us and that’s when we started the patent writing process, which it’s not just a wham Bam, thank you ma’am. Tell me your story and let’s file and it’s all done, right?

There’s a lot of language that needs to be used and you need to cover your bases in order to protect this idea. And we brought some investors onboard that really took advantage of us and thankfully, I mean it costs us money, but we were able to move past it and then I think that because we weren’t financially destroyed by that, we were able to save up and we risked a lot. Um, but then we’re able to finance the process again. So now we’re on phase two and you go through rejections with patents and you need to change your claims and such. But our patent writer just kept fighting for it and then he had to move to China and wasn’t able to work with us again. And so I had to find another patent writer who kind of screwed it all up for us and we’ve got a final rejection.

Thankfully he found out about it and China and got special dispensation from his employer over in Shanghai and they said, OK, go ahead and mop up this mess for this family because yeah, go ahead and you started it, now, finish it. And that he got permission to do that. And he did. He stepped right in and worked quickly and got us back on track. And then, um, then we were getting two and three rejections. And when you get a rejection, they’re saying there’s somebody out there who already has a similar idea or application, so while you can manufacture it and use it, you’re not protected. And so he challenged that and said, no, we’re not changing our claims, you’re the, these, these arguments are incorrect. And just kept fighting for it. And then got hard final rejection. And I said, uh, OK, then we’re done. And the reason I really felt like life goes on, my husband and I have, um, Julia and Jonah are little high grade schoolers. And then we had a daughter, I’m amy,

and take your time. I had

quit practice when my youngest son, who’s now nine, soon to be 10 next week we decided, my husband and I were both ob gyns and we were so busy with practice that somebody needed to take one for the team and be available at home to dock the boat. And that was me. So after Jonah was a year old, I quit practice and was home. I’m always knowing that we were working on this project waiting for patents and such and not giving up, but it would have been foolish to launch it without the patent protection. And during that time, uh, I became pregnant with my fourth child and she, uh, we found out that we were having a little girl when she was 12 weeks along in pregnancy. And her genetics testing came back that she had trisomy 21. And I always felt like as a little girl I had neighbors with kids with Down’s syndrome and I was like mother’s helpers for them and would go and play with them while their moms did laundry or ran to the grocery store and I really have had a heart for individuals with special needs and it seemed like I was just always finding my way into the homes and families of people who had kids with down syndrome.

And so when people would say, God doesn’t hand you anything more than what you can handle. I mean this is even in junior high and high school, I would get a whisper in my ear that would say you’re going to have a baby with down syndrome. I can’t, I’m not kidding you, it will leave you. Absolutely. And so when I found out that amy had down syndrome, I thought, well here, this is it. OK, here we go. Game on. Right? And I, from the moment I thought, who better I am positioned, I, my heart is ready and I want to raise her. I cannot wait. And I just worried about her health and safety during the pregnancy. And um, she was, my pregnancy was very uneventful. I was healthy, she was healthy, she had a normal heart. She had very little signs at all that even showed that she had down syndrome.

We, uh, we were, I was far more worried than my doctors is what I will say. I’m like, I was over the top concern that something bad was gonna happen and they were so laid back about it that it made me feel uncomfortable to. We bring it up again. They’d be like, Shannon, you’re, you know, you’re the lowest risk of all the high risk pregnancies we have. You need to relax. You’re not the doctor here, you’re not in charge. And so when amy was born, uh, and then, um, this is how it happened. I was at home and I noticed that I was having contractions and I was so excited for her. They were coming like maybe every 20 minutes and very mild. But I started the nesting. Yeah, packing the bag. And I’m thinking, oh my goodness, she’s coming any day it was full term.

And I think today’s the day and that night I said to my husband, I’m having contractions. And he said, no, you’re not in labor. I said, I mean, I’m tolerating them because I’m one tough mother. I mean, I’m not complaining, but I’m having, um, you know, and so I listened to her heart tones with a doppler and the baby monitor and contraction and I noticed her heartbeat dropped and we listened to it again. And so he rushed me to the hospital and made a phone call on his way there and said, I’m bringing my wife and I’m an ob Gyn and I need whoever else is on call to come in. And they delivered me by stat c-section and she ended up in the neonatal intensive care unit and just wasn’t tall. It didn’t tolerate labor. And we got to the high risk. They sent her down to children’s, uh, the high risk hospital there where she could be at the end icu and be monitored more closely.

But unfortunately she just didn’t recover. Um, and I just, she didn’t tolerate labor. She didn’t tolerate contractions because I just had testing not long before then and she was doing great. Right, right, right. So after I lost amy, she was two days old. I wanted to die. I it hurt to breathe A. I don’t know if you know that feeling, the joy you feel upholding your newborn baby, but the total opposite of that is losing them and that you are, may you make noises you in grief that you never have ever heard yourself make before and you know, your life is never going to be the same again, but yet your kids are still saying, mom, I need a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you know, you’re still, you still gotta pay them their toenail toenail, still need trimming and you’re still going through life that way.

And so I thought I was just working on breathing day to day and then we got our final rejection for lumion. I said, my patent writer, I’m done. We’ve been working on this for uh, eight years now. I think it was at the time and about three years if it was patent arguments. And I just said, we’re done. It’s I, I’m glad that you think it’s a great idea and I think it’s a great idea too, and it’s a great product, but I just don’t have it in me. And he said, I’m going to call you back in five days if it’s OK with you, ask you to think about it. So in five days he called me and he said, I’m going to do this because I believe in you and I’m going to do it pro bono and I’m gonna fight for this because it’s not very often in this industry of the proctors and gambles and the Unilevers of the world where you see a one off in venture funding their own progress, their own, their own product and the process and comes up with something so innovative that it would have taken someone, some other company at a team of a hundred and 15 years to do it with all the research and development.

And you’ve just been able to do this on your own. It’s quite impressive. And so with all due respect, I’m going to not honor your decision to not pursue it. And I’m going to fight harder, so that’s what he did. And he got our, got me a phone call with the USPTO office, the trade off itself, they get on the phone with me and they asked me a lot of questions and at the end they said, congratulations, we’re going to give you your claims. Amazing. So we had our first patent and then the second one came about a year later and that was about two years ago. And so now we’ve been just working really hard. I’ve been full time at this now, uh, since it was a year in February. I am. So I’m just so impressed. It’s so frustrating to. Right. What’s the hold up if you have legitimate claims?

I think first of all there’s a, there’s an idea now in the patent office that maybe nothing new is out there. So it’s very difficult to convince them that you have anything unique and novel and it’s an uphill battle, but it’s terrible. But in the meantime, through all of this, through, I’m thinking he really pushed for you. Um, there are good people in the world. Thank God. But I’m in the meantime through all of this, life is going on. You’ve got a daughter. Tell us about your dad. So then, uh, my husband and I, uh, decided that, uh, after amy and we were going to make our world just really small and because people would have thought you were just, you’re better now, right? You know, he said six months ago you lost your daughter. You’re good. Yeah. And I was selling soap at the time. I was a, like a, an artist and soap maker and making lip balms and shea butter whips and lotions that literally in my small studio within my house and I was selling to whole foods and stuff, but it was very small, very cottage industry farmers market type stuff.

And so I had been neglecting that, um, through my, you know, my grief, I thought I’m going to be done with that too. I was just trying to figure out how to round it out and finished. And I got asked to participate in an event at one of the Co ops locally where I live. And I really didn’t want to do it because I couldn’t even stand a hardly talk to people because even the question, how are you doing? You know, I think, hey, how are you even to just say, oh, I’m good, you know, just seem like somehow I was betraying my daughter because I wasn’t good, but yet we give these Plat, you know, use these platitudes. So I walked in with all my soap and I set up my display and there was a person who didn’t, who called in sick and they lost their greeter at the front.

And I said, well, I’ll do it. And I thought, wow, I actually volunteered for that. I must be doing pretty good. So I set up the table, my soap, and I was really interacting with people. And I laughed at something that someone said that laugh in that moment. I thought I heard, you know, in my, my voice to myself was, there she is, she’s back. And I went home to my husband and I said, I did this event today. And I’m so grateful that I did. Because for the first time in a year, I’m seeing in color and I want to live and I see forward and he said, OK, we’ll hold on to your boots and saddle because, um, there’s a little girl that of others, a family that has a baby that they want to, uh, a place for adoption and they want to talk to us about adopting her.

And so we went into the hospital and I met the family and the family was awesome. It was this great connection that we had and we adopted their little girl and did, we didn’t know if it was a girl or boy, we didn’t know if she was healthy or not and we didn’t care. We just wanted to, to raise a child and we wanted more children. And, and, uh, we felt very blessed that day. I think that the angels were shining down on us that they, the whole way the whole way. That’s amazing. Beautiful. It was a win win. I couldn’t say enough about our youngest daughter’s birth family, the connection that we had and just the sheer, uh, just bless it. Event that it was. And it just felt right.

It’s amazing. It’s an amazing, amazing person. I, I just think that your story is amazing and I think everything you’ve done amazing. And I think the fact that you’re handling stink, it’s amazing. I’m Brian Confidence back map. Yeah, thank goodness. But I think it’s. I loved Marilyn Story. Like I said, it was so heartbreaking to me that little girl would be bullied or anything like this. And then the older woman or the girl that wrote that said she’s been doing since [inaudible]. I can see it. Absolutely. Without a doubt. Because in the workplace there’s always somebody that you’re like, oh my God, it smells right past it is if for some reason like smell is like, so, like offensive because if you can’t get away from it, I guess. Yeah. So how’s the selling? Tell us about how it’s going.

Sales are good. Uh, we launched in October. We’re still very self funded. We don’t have, we’ve not taken out any loans, we don’t have outside investors. And so our sales are good enough that we’re funding the growth. Um, and w I auditioned for shark tank in January. They did not call me back by the way. I thought for sure. It went well. The pitch was perfect. They’re like, great story. We’re talking to the home shopping network about going on there later in the summer. So some really exciting things are happening. The concept of Louis resonates with women, but one third of our customers are men, so I know that they’re hearing this message to. They want natural for their underarms and they don’t want their boys to smell either scream. What is the name? The name is Louis. Why a lumee deodorant for? Well, Louie just came because you have to come up with something that’s not already trademarked.

It looks nice on the label. So it means luminous. So it’s the luminous, the brightest part of you and you know, confidence that follows from that. Uh, but what I. The private parts where Louis Deodorant for underarms and private parts. I’m a huge Howard stern fan. I love Howard Stern. I’m one of those girls that I could, I can handle that talk. And then when I see him on other shows and I was, I’ve been a fan since the nineties and all through college listened to him and I loved Robin and I just felt like, you know, when that movie came out, private parts that he did, uh, I knew that it really wasn’t about, you know, our private parts like genitals. Right. Can you say that are aspects of his life and that he really is a, he comes across as a tough guy, but he’s really a softie and has a big heart and I don’t know, I just kind of see through that and I’d love to meet him.

Oh my gosh. We’ll have to try to arrange that one way so she can meet Howard and Robin or something. It would be a lot of fun. You’d be surprised. He said he’s an OK talk about. They used to make fun of and talking about vaginosis on the show.

What I’m saying is we’re changing the narrative on feminine hygiene. A lot of jokes had been cracked at the expense of women and I think. OK, I can roll with that. The odors there. Yes. But we’re going to school you on where it really comes from and guess what you have at too, because he used to talk about that in. He used to talk about that on his radio program that like, I’m so harry down there. I don’t, I just feel like I don’t get clean. I mean you take a shower and I still smell and it used to say something like this should we need a product that’s called ass don’t smell. And I thought that to me is more to get him a sample. It was a morning show here that uh, they, they put out a product called junk bomb dairy. God. True Story. So where can you find it? Where can we get it? So loomey is available on our website. It’s l u m e d o d e r o dot [inaudible]. So Louis d o Dot com and it’s available exclusively on our website right now. And so for right now we have, we’re not planning on going into stores for the next year or so. OK, excellent. That’s l u m e correct. L U M E D e r o.com.

The product to. I just googled it. I found it. Yeah. Yeah. Well we’ll have to get you some stuff. Not so far away. That’s why this far away from where I sit over there. I love it. I’ve tried it. I’ve been doing it for two weeks. I, I’m really happy with it and it’s seriously. I’m going to throw all the other deodorants away because I think it’s a great product. Thank you. And so many of my girlfriends, like I said, I have breast cancer or some kind of cancer or a battling something. So I’m definitely definitely gonna get it for them I think is amazing and I think you’re amazing. Holy Cow. I really liked and I liked from Minnesota and everything but um, we’ll be back in just a moment and we’re going to need to do, um, we’ve got males in and we’ve got news and if you can hang your welcome to hang.

So one tough mother podcast. We’ll talk with amazing women who have worked their way to the top and want to share their real life lessons with you.

And we’re back and we have the usual headlines in headaches and we got tough brother Seth with him. But before we do again, I want to thank you, Dr Shannon Kligman and Loomey is an amazing story. You’re amazing person and it’s amazing product. So I’m really. It’s a win-win all the way around. Thank you so much for being here. And you’re going to sit in with us right now. We just got a choice. You don’t have a choice. We make you locked. You’re not allowed to leave. So tough brother Seth. Headlines and headaches. Yes. You like watching TV. You’re hired. Loving to watch TV and movies is finally a job requirement. Where was this like years ago, and I could have used

it on the couch for the rest of your life. Node been awesome. Netflix is looking for someone who possesses this skill to work as an editorial analyst. The is that in addition to bingeing on the streaming giants content, you will have to summarize and rate it. You not only have to love binge watching, you would need at least five years of experience in the TV or film industry and be able to write with attention to detail. Still Nice work if you can get it. I’m like, oh no. My wife a couple times binge a little bit and we have three kids and one coming. And you know, you got the wrong guy.

No, I used to watch a lot more TV and I’m glad that I don’t and, but this would have been a dream job for me back in the day for sure. But there are some great shows on Netflix too. I don’t know if you have netflix or use it. Yeah, bending is the only way to do netflix. You can’t help yourself. But that was to see what’s missing now is the beauty of tv back in the day was that anticipation of the next episode. You know, even like the showtime and Hbo Shows Like I love billions, you know, and I can only watch on my commute. I could watch on my phone and I look forward to it. But you know, I couldn’t wait. I can’t binge anyway, I don’t have time to binge, but there’s something different about it, a different experience and know what happens. Also real quick, I want to stay on this too long, but I had back surgery years ago and I was home for three weeks and I’d Binge Watch shows.

They get into your brain in my dreams like Friday night lights, the dumbest show ever, but high school football, like I’m almost like living this altered reality because I watch so much of that show in such a short period of time. It almost made me crazy from the industry as you know, and here’s what my thought process on this is. First of all, I don’t watch television. I’m not my life because you’re better than you and I watched it for numbers. I was looking for a better buys or how to put product in that they watch TV to escape reality. I really believe that a hundred percent and my daughter in laws are so big on the bachelor and they’ll be like, Ma Ma really watched it. I remember the show parenthood when it went off the air. I was like, I missed those guys. Identify with them and you know, it’s not a good habit, is not a good job for us. Then we’re done with that. OK, no, forget it. Sorry. Not Flexible. Not Coming in on a student loan. Stifled home ownership of student loans are keeping people from buying homes. Roughly 45,000,000 Americans carry student loan debt. Forty 5,000,000. Average borrower at least 30,000 a CNBC reports is sending data from student loan hero over 80 percent. Those age 22 to

35 who haven’t purchased the house site. Student loans is a primary factor for the National Association of Realtors many years. [inaudible] mortgages because of their debt to income ratio.

Problem is you do a whole show on. All my kids have student loans. Well, I think my oldest son might have finished his, but for kids like totally. Thank you God in every aspect that they came out and they had great jobs, but some of their friends, huge, huge loans, no jobs. People I know that are really big in big industries are saying, yeah, I’m still carrying $50,000 in debt and it’s not like a $50 bill that you pay for the next hundred years. It’s like $1,500 a month for the next five years at a job and they want you to pay $1,500 a month. You know, it’s almost like to shoot kids go. If they can’t afford to go right to college, maybe you get a, get a do a trade or do something and then go to school at night or you know, you might be better off doing it in a different way. I don’t believe in. I don’t believe in college as much anymore. I don’t either because they’re not alone. Yeah. There’s so many kids who believe in higher education, but you know, at what price.

There’s different ways. There’s ways around it. If it will be creative, let’s, let’s be honest, you know, go into the colleges and experience also. It’s not just about the education, so I think that’s the thing that people would miss the most, but if you can’t afford it, you know why you bare yourself for how many years

people 10, 15 years later still paying that stuff off. Oh please. APPS, at least at least 10, 15 years later. I agree to law school or med school or my friend go to chiropractor school. You’re just adding another four years on top of it. I think my total bill students, 170,000 her Undergrad and med school and that sound that you didn’t even live in it. Right? That’s unbelievable.

I mean at least at least with the law school or med school that there’s an expectation of making more money, but the, you know, the average graduate, they have to go find a job in their industry then start at the bottom.

Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. I can see that the country needs to fix this

started as a temp employee in my first company making $8 an hour after graduating college. I know. It’s crazy. All right, so sorry everybody. Yeah. Think about it. I don’t know what to tell you. I play the lottery. I haven’t won yet. Could off-work email be banned? Yes, please. Yes. Technology was supposed to make our lives a work lives easier, but it turns out that many of us, it makes it even busier. Businesses can now hook workers around the clock almost every day of the year. Using messaging tools found an employee’s phones. When New York City Council member wants to put an end to it. According to CNN, Raphael Espinel, a council member from Brooklyn introduced the bill last week that would make it illegal for businesses with more than 10 people to contact employees during off-work hours, including weekends and vacations. There’s a lot of New Yorkers out there that don’t know when their work day begins or when the workday ends because we’re all so tired too, are tied to our phones and tired.

Yes. He told US scene and affiliate businesses would receive small files. Were contacting workers during off hours payable to workers themselves. What’s your take on the proposed law? Join the conversation below. I don’t agree with this. I gotta say you as an employee, you gotta be able to stick your stick your ground. Like I have a family. I, I’m not going to be able. I’m not going to be available this time. I’ll help you and I can agree with you, but what are you going to do when the, when the guy’s like, OK, look, I’m paying you this amount of money. I want, you know, when I email you at 10, 15 at night answering me tough nuggies, I’m awesome and you take me at my when I can work or you know, find someone else in the streets. No, no. At a certain point you have to value yourself and what you bring to the table.

If you’re only valuable this company 24 hours a day, then it’s not the right job for you. You’re going to run yourself ragged into the ground. You’re going to have a family. You’re going to die at 58 years old and for what? Cause this guy because you got an answer. The Beck and call this guy, I’m sorry. You know as a doctor is stress is a killer. You’re going to stress yourself out, like being available. No, I agree that they shouldn’t be able to contact you. I just have been in positions where they do. I’m saying you have to, as an employee, have to stand your ground and respectfully, you know, look, I have a family. I have kids. I gotta make time for my family. I’m not gonna. I’m not gonna do it. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll get stuff done. What has to get done, but I’m gonna.

I’m gonna do it. I’m going to take time and make time for my family. Block it out. Right. But unfortunately it’s the life we live world we live in to. It is the world we live in. It’s sad but true. But for people that he’s talking about, I don’t know, I don’t see people, you know, I think you just have to be able to balance it yourself and if there’s a, if there’s a problem at home or problem with stress is to recognize it and deal with it. Right. All right, let’s go. This is. This is the pressing today sake. Schools battle new vaping news just keeps getting better as the rate of smoking among teams is dropped, the use of nicotine heavy e-cigarettes is exploding. Well, that’s kind of an oxymoron right there, isn’t it? Reports to Wall Street Journal learning. This trend, a leading this trend is Joel J, u l a potent and cleverly marketed vaping device that comes into derived variety of fruity flavors. Super, uh, parents or schools are now the front line of an effort to prevent teams from using the product. The health implications of which are still not clear as a journal. Jewels website claims that one of his paws equals about a pack of cigarettes worth of nicotine. They claim that, wow, they’re like bragging about it. Yeah. Well vaping is likely healthier than smoking tobacco. Its health effects are not well understood and some researchers just think that’s a gateway to smoking cigarettes. What’s your take on vaping among teenagers?

I hate the whole thing to her need somebody driving a small car, vaping and they roll down the window. It looks like cheech and Chong, we don’t come out all the windows, but I don’t see how they can get away marketing it fruit-flavored when cigarette cigar companies can’t do that anymore and catch it. It’ll catch up to him. Apparently we’re all parents here and then it comes to parents. It comes into play exact. He knew where I was going with where are the parents, so we all his friends are doing not smoking, you know, not to get into this whole thing. But My, you know, my 10 year old friends are playing fortnight and they shouldn’t be playing fort night. I don’t know what that is. You should know Greg, if your grandsons are playing, they might fit in.

It’s like a video game that it’s a violent video game that everyone’s playing. It’s popular that when drake

was playing it it, it was trending on social media that he was playing the game. It’s insane. My 15 year old nephew is playing. I don’t. You might be old enough. It’s difficult though because they, they get it somewhere on their phones or they’re at school. The school, like the school on their phone has his phone with him all the time. I don’t get that. They should check it out the door. Right. Why do you. Yeah, why do you need your phone to get the classes? Just in the classroom, you know, I’m not saying that they shouldn’t have it and I understand we’re in a different world safety wise today. Maybe, you know. Oh boy, that’s bad. Yeah. Yeah. So it’s, um, it’s, it’s tougher and tougher. I’m nervous about. My kids are young, so I’m nervous about as they get older, how to navigate through this stuff. You got to figure out how to put filters on your home. Internet. I’ll just threaten them with violence. This is answer to everything. Don’t crush your phone.

Listen to that. Nothing speaks louder than blood. They’re going to use that so much throughout this show.

I love it. Right? Really have gotten to them. All right. Let’s. After system beating with his kids will give us the next story. A hammer with your phones. Ain’t got smashed your phone to pieces. You don’t even have phones yet, but his friends all do their 10. You’re not getting a phone. You’re getting a flip phone call. An emergency, a bug fuck. Bug Wisdom. The jitterbug. They only call home and two other numbers. Like the doctor was giving a megaphone and carrying his backpack. Just call me on my nose and I need stitcher, stitcher. Great. I’ll be right there. Oh, what a good guy. He, um, here we go. Viral. Condoms. Snorting challenge is a dangerous idea. Oh, I saw that. She never put a condom up your nose.

When I read these things, I get physically ill. Why would you stick around?

I saw a visual on social media yesterday. I have to say I have not seen this note. I don’t think I want to one side hanging out one nostril going up through the nasal passages. Passage and the other part coming down the other APP. Like this nasal floss. That’s awesome. I use like a nasal cleanser that goes one in one nostril to the other, but I think it’s good for me. I don’t let any pot that’s pot. Exactly. Overcome challenges. Dangerous. She’s a doctor, she just let her read this one to her. We went to get her opinion. We want your opinion on that. Challenge is you want to read. You can read it a few more to go ahead and say it’s a dangerous years old. Dare that involves sticking it, unwrapped a condom on one up one nostril and inhaling it until it hopefully reemergence into the person’s mouth off a mouth to nostril gross. Super dangerous idea. The immediate choking hazard, which

that just a side note, a choking hazards or a phrase we use in our house a lot because we have a two year old and my four year olds. I was like choking hazard, choking as screaming. I was like, I can’t give her this choking hazard because he wants it for himself because can also get stuck in cause more long-term damage. You think it’s a chemical rubbery.

This is unwrapped pod. The laundry pods

challenges. Again, same parents party type od challenge. He’s going to have a fist in the face challenge. Right, right, right, right. Sorry, I don’t know. I’m. It’s more metaphorically, maybe not.

Why I don’t understand it, because the internet, what did you read? There was one, and I don’t remember, this was a year ago where this guy, it was some really big challenge for these kids. Had to do like [inaudible] steps to prove how tough they were. When was like, burn yourself, cut yourself, and then kill any animal. They went in up in degrees and they said it’s because they’re building like ment mentally control kids by teaching them how tough they are. It was amazing. When I read it, it was like a year ago. I was like, oh my God, this is so sick. I don’t want anybody. I keep saying my sentence where they’re very good about it. They don’t let their kids that produced the intranet.

No, you can’t. Uh, in. Here’s real quick, uh, the nose is designed to be the body’s air filter cleaning the air you take in before it lands in the lungs and adding moisture to it along the way to telecom system that’s not designed to take in.

It’s disgusting. I think that should be common sense, but you know, and that’s it for headlines in headaches. All right, so then we’ve got male in mail in males in.

Uh, yes, it just got delivered. Alrighty. Thank you sir. Have a good day. All right. Email number one. Do your one tough. Mother. I have a sticky situation to ask you about. Have condoms in my notes and I’m just getting. My neighbor of 22 years owns at home repair company. He builds decks, remodels, houses, does replacement windows and more. You name it, the guide does it. He is super talented. Well, last fall bird saw me standing on my porch looking around and he walked over and asked me what I was up to, so I showed them that the floor boards were starting to rot and that steps were getting wobbly and began to pull away from the porch. He said, hey neighbor, that’s no big deal. We’ll take care of this for you immediately. Why would you ask anyone else and only takes us three days and we’ll give you our friends and family discount.

I instantly took him up on his offer and told him to let me know immediately what he needed to start. Well, that’ll happen in the beginning of September and no work was ever done. In fact, I reminded him a couple of times last fall and he said I was his next job, but nothing happened. Well now it’s march, Spring and summer are coming and we want to porch fixed now. So Bert yesterday and I yelled, hey burt, how are you doing? He threw up his hand and quickly walked into his house without saying a word. It seemed he was either in a rush or avoided me. Now my question, should I just walk over to his house, knock on the door and as blank if he’s still interested in doing the job or should I just contact someone else? My wife thinks that since we’ve been neighbors for over 20 years that I will be offended if I, uh, he’ll be. If I hire someone else,

I think you’ll be relieved. What do you think the guy’s door, Shannon? I think he’s telling you already. He doesn’t want to do the job right? I agree with you, but if you’re just your neighbor for 20 years, a guy, the guy may I, everyone. Men are different. I’m from the northeast, from Minnesota, but I went to Undergrad out. Yeah, we just say we’re going to do this or what it that simple like it was emotional, but if you don’t address it then it’s gonna Fester and you’re gonna start getting pissed and he ended up like, you know, throwing snowballs at his house or something.

Like every other contractor I’ve ever worked with. Joe Never say now. No, it’s true. But you know what happens with me and I have a lot of professional people that do construction and stuff that are friends of mine and actually my very dear friend of mine, I don’t like to ask them. I don’t because of this stuff, dude, I’ll know care. I’ll take care of it for you. I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of it. And then I’m sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting and then I get pissed off because I’m like, well, are you coming? Are you not? So shall I be calling somebody? Even if they come over and what are you doing? I’ll say, I’m fixing this or that’s gotta be fixed. They’ll be like, yeah, I’ll take care of that. No Dude. OK. I already called somebody. I lie. I got the answer.

Obviously you’re a little too busy for this. Can you recommend someone else to do it for me? It’s all cool and I got no hard feelings, but can you recommend someone else? Don’t want to get into it, but if you start saying, oh no, no. Was like, no, it’s OK dude. I know you’re busy and I know you mean well, but just can you recommend someone else? Yeah. OK, I agree with you on that one and move and get out of my neighborhood. I don’t like you anymore for. All right. Let’s move on. Email number two. Do Your ots. Is it wrong to ignore someone you hate or don’t like? I have a girl in my class. I really don’t like. She believes other kids. Pushes everyone around and thinks she cool. She never really talked to me before, but for some reason now she started with me. She started with me. She says stuff like, Hey, what’s your name? Why are you always looking at me? Or, hey, didn’t anyone tell you it’s rude to ignore people? I know this is going to explode because I’ve seen her do this with other kids. She’s so messed up. I just avoid or ignore her, but for some reason she takes my staying quiet, ignoring or as a threat. What should I do? Signed sixth grader ignore until it gets out of hand and then tell the teacher it’s the tough spot.

He’s a very tough spot and we’ve all been in this spot. I mean there’s been people and she sees the pattern. Spark girl by the way are girl, but smart kid sees a pattern what this girl is doing and the girls not getting attention any more from the people she bullied or it’s boring or she’s over it and now she’s going to bleed. You go to somebody about it. That’s my suggestion. Know if they can find

common ground though. Sometimes you find like if he approached her and was like, Hey, do you want a piece of gum? You want to. I want to say she might just soften right now and think how good he does. Really like me. Maybe she’s afraid he doesn’t like her.

It’s funny. We all have these. We notice people in our lives that have that personality that just everyone likes them. The third one person who gets along with every group and you know, we’d all like to. We don’t like to be that I was not that person, but we, we all like, we all admire that person. Especially later in life. You realize like it’s, it’s hard. It’s tough to the teacher. Sixth grader that to either kind of have it naturally or you don’t

and you don’t want to peak in sixth grade. That’s what I tell them. I’m like, you know, if you’re a Pi, if you’re really, really the favorite in high school, you know when you speak to. So you’re a disappointment at the reunion. So forward to me.

[inaudible] emergency. I remember seth, he had hair down to her. Just talk to somebody about it, right? Don’t let her try to be nice. Be Nice. Yeah. You kill them with kindness, right? Food doctor says gum. Say, Hey, we should play fortnite sometimes six grants a perfect day. Turn off his mic is probably really good advice. Last email after day, dear one. Tough mother. I hate facebook. I used to be on it a lot. I talk to all my friends, bought things online and like following other people, but seven months ago because of my ex boyfriend, I had to deactivate my account, but I have a question. Last week on your show, you said you can never really quit or delete facebook. What do you mean you can’t know? First of all, you have to understand, and I’ve always said this to my kids because my kids grew up as computers were really becoming popular.

Once you push enter on a computer, it lives and breathes forever. It goes from your computer to the central server somewhere in this country. I know the central server for the east coast because I had to deal with this in a lawsuit years ago, is in Virginia, so it goes through a central server there. Now I’m sure there’s a sense that law suit many, many years ago, there’s probably 10 times more central servers around, but it’s going to live and breathe somewhere and it will be able to be tracked down at some point, the same way text messaging on your phone, which people didn’t realize and didn’t know when I found that out from a lawsuit. When you text message somebody on your phone, again, it’s gotten me through a central server somewhere. A verizon has a cloud. The cloud is not owned by, by somewhere else, so all of that stuff is floating around and it can be retrieved and it is, it has been retrieved for lawsuits.

So you gotta be careful what you put out there. And um, if you think that you delete your facebook, our facebook off, you take your profile down and you get your files from facebook, whatever the case may be. Dude, whatever you wrote on facebook prior to all this stuff that you did to get off of facebook is going to be. They’re frightening for a good thing that we didn’t have social media when I was a kid in trouble. Um, I think for her, for her, the, your account, I don’t know how deep she wants to go, but nobody can look at the average person is not going to see your stuff or anything anymore when you deactivate. So I think she, if she, maybe she’s a little worried about that. I think if you’re deactivated for a regular person, you should be OK. Right? Well, she was asking about last week, as I said that last week. There are other things you can do also to, if, if you enjoyed facebook, you can block people, you know, we know this. You can block people from seeing your stuff. So if this boyfriends bothering online or anything, you can easily block them.

Right, right. And again, this is just a precautionary situation or prequel. Cautionary comment, please. Whatever you put on social media, whether it’s facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat, any of those things know they can and will be searched if there, if there’s need to be. And there’s no way that you can deny them honestly, because I’ve been through things where it’s amazing that people have your information

or just don’t do anything stupid online. Yeah, I mean were young, we all would’ve done, like you said, you’re glad it wasn’t around when you were a younger doctor. Oh yeah. There’s a lot of keyboard confidence people say and do things with the, the confidence of a keyboard in the anonymity, but then it’s out there. It’s like even safer than like, you know, when you get mad when you’re driving because we, all of a sudden we have these like a couple of tons of steel with us. We’re feeling really strong. We’re driving and we get road rage. But this is like even easier because then they got the person who challenges you on the road. And then also since it’s scary.

Yeah, it’s, it’s watch what you say, watch what you do. Just don’t put things out there just to put them out there. Just know that and you know, calling somebody out or being a bully or any of that stuff. It’s going to be there. It’s there.

Not to open up a whole nother conversation, but this is kind of stuff I think schools need to start, uh, talking about curriculum wise, about, you know, the pitfalls and dangers of doing things online and everything. It’s like live life lessons. Kids in general are more unhappy. I don’t know what the percentage is, but it’s attributed to social media because people who are excluded or view their life is boring or uneventful or that they’re unliked. They see all these, this false performance of this perfect life being played out on the screen of social media and it contributes to depression, especially among adolescents. But there’s times even when I see and I go, why didn’t I get invited to that, you know, makes you feel bad. I agree with you. And that’s why we have to be careful with our kids. Social media. All

right, so today’s mother says is it is, and it’s actually a quote by Oprah help Rod. I brought up oprah. So he says, you get in life what you have the courage to ask for true story, right? Yeah. Don’t be afraid, right? Because everybody has a problem with the ask, but you get in life what you have the courage to ask for to go out there and ask and you never know what you’re going to get. Thank you, Dr. Clayman. Thank you for having me coming from Minnesota. What a fun thing. I’m going to go to Minnesota and see what it looks like. Is it fun? It’s beautiful. Beautiful. I’ve been to Detroit Thousand Lakes 10 likes.

I took my mom to the Mayo Clinic and I pulled over just to look at the stars. She was scared to get out the car and my was like, she. She actually was mad later that she didn’t get out of the car, so I just wanted to get out and look at the sky. It was just, you know, unbelievable. I went to Detroit and drove up and down eight mile. I love Detroit. I did. That was my big hood on and started rapping. I just, I had an appointment, I had to go talk to somebody in Detroit and that was my whole game plan was to take that car and just drive up and down eight mile just so I can say I did

because I love man. Anyway, great show. Thank you Dr. Clayman, everybody. Checkout Leumi L U, m e. it’s great. Step by step over snipping sheep. I smell to everybody soon. Have a good one.

 

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This